


Hurt

by applesandpears



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-18
Updated: 2011-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 14:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applesandpears/pseuds/applesandpears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, people want things even when they know they shouldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurt

_**Hurt (Brittany/Santana)**_  
 **Title:** Hurt  
 **Rating** : T  
 **Word Count** : ~500  
 **Pairing:** Brittany/Santana  
 **Summary:** Sometimes, people want things even when they know they shouldn't.

 

It wasn’t as though she was blame free, Santana knew that much. That didn’t stop the hurt. She knew that taking so long to come out was off-putting for Brit, but she wasn’t ready. Didn’t want to label herself.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t ready to accept that she felt something for Brittany, though she denied it whenever the other girl brought the topic up and even vehemently protested against it at other supposedly random times (though, they weren’t random at all). The blonde girl was ready to be fluid; she already knew what she was. Santana wasn’t ready for that. Frankly, coming out to Brittany scared her more than anyone else; she didn’t want to ruin what they had and she always felt like a fool whenever the Dutch mentioned sexuality because she wasn’t entirely sure where she was on the spectrum of lust.

It was foolish, really. Being scared of the one person who should have been most accepting. Being scared of losing those linked pinkies in corridors and of jeers from classmates. Ironic, even, that not coming out has done just what she’d tried so desperately to avoid. Santana chuckled darkly to herself.

Yeah, so they’d never been exclusive but Brittany had broken the unspoken bond they had, as if it meant nothing to her at all. Then Brit had frantically rubbed salt into her by staying with the guy Santana had been so sure was being used as a ploy to test her, make her jealous. Perhaps even more stupidly was that now it had all been thrown in her face, and they were even more messed up that before, she still wanted the other girl. To hug her one last time, or to kiss her. Preferably some combination of the two hopefully ensuring sex. Even if it meant she’d have to live through the embarrassment of Brittany murmuring “Your heart is beating real quick, San.” At least this time she wouldn’t have that heart stopping moment of fear about the other girl finding out.

Yet, somehow she detested the idea simultaneously; she wanted something that would last and meant something to both of them. She’d slept with various guys and none of them made her want to cling to them forever, or felt tingles at the slightest touch and certainly she hadn’t thought that something could make her so happy and hurt so much. She’d thought the word ‘crush’ was ridiculous before Brittany came along and – somehow or other – wove her way into Santana’s heart.

It was Brittany who made them link pinkies as a compromise for hand holding. They were allowed to entwine their fingers in the privacy of their homes, to lay upon each other and do various other unspoken deeds. However, when Santana took a deep breath and reached for Brittany’s hand, she’d always find it batted away.

 


End file.
